Your Handshake
By now, you're beaming with an ear-to-ear smile, and you look fabulous! The next signal to the employer is your handshake. In every seminar I give, I actually have the participants practice shaking hands, after which they give each other feedback.
Is it (like the story of Goldilocks and the three bears) too soft? Too hard? Or, just right? There is almost nothing worse than a noncommittal "dead-fish" handshake. We've all felt them, and there is just something intuitively unpleasant about them. On the other hand, the macho-rearrange-your-finger-bones handshake is not too appealing either. Your handshake signals to the interviewer that you are about to do business. If it feels, unconsciously, like a halfway committed or overly competitive handshake, you will not be getting off to the right start.
• A firm handshake, using the whole hand in the other person's hand, is an appropriate business handshake.
• There is no reason to shake a woman's hand any differently than you would shake a man's hand. Firm and businesslike is the rule to remember.
Many people, both men and women, have no idea how their handshake feels to other people. I strongly suggest that you practice it with a few friends or family members and ask for their honest feedback. Keep testing different strengths and positions until you and the other person feel comfortable.
Your Greeting
Okay, so I've asked you to grin at strangers and pump a few people's arms. What could possibly be next, you wonder? Riding a horse backward? Scaling the face of a mountain? Well, you're off the hook. Fortunately, those are not the skills you need to succeed at most interviews. The next four points are very easy and require no extracurricular practice:
1. Address the interviewer as Ms. or Mr., and introduce yourself by your first and last names. It will sound something like, "Hello, Mr. Isaacs. I'm Susan Sallinger. Thank you for seeing me today." You'll be smiling warmly and offering a professional handshake at the same time. After the introduction, the interviewer will ask you to sit down. Don't sit down until he or she asks you to. If he or she does not ask, say, politely, "May I have a seat, please?"
2. If it's a small office or you are very close to his or her desk, you may feel tempted to put your notepad or some other article like a purse on the desk. Don't. The desk is the territory of the interviewer, and he or she will feel encroached upon if you pass that invisible line of his or her space and your space. Putting any item, including your hands or elbows on the desk will be taken as a sign of disrespect and an unconscious threat. If you wish to take notes, hold your notebook on your lap.
3. Don't take any beverages into the interviewer's office-spills or choking can be embarrassing and inconvenient. Even if you are offered coffee, it's quite all right to politely decline.
4. Turn your pager and cell phone off! If you forget and it happens to ring, do not glance to see who called. Simply apologize for the interruption and turn off the device.
Your Attitude
Have you ever noticed that when someone likes you, you tend to like him or her in return? Well, it's the same with interviewers. As
I said earlier, many interviewers are going to be more nervous than you would imagine at this meeting. They want you to like them, just as you want them to like you.
It may seem hard to fabricate having affection for someone you hardly know or who doesn't seem particularly likeable, but there is a way. One way that I've suggested to my clients that really seems to work is that they picture the interviewer as a friend of theirs or someone they really admire.
You can pretend it's your sister Sylvia or your brother Harold, your Aunt June or Uncle Bob. It may seem a little bit silly, but I've actually told clients to picture the interviewer as a big stuffed teddy bear. Who doesn't like a teddy bear? In any case, your warmth will come through and will probably be returned.
Another thing to remember about your attitude is that you are interviewing the company, just as the company is interviewing you. When you keep that fact in mind, you'll remember to notice how you're being treated before, during, and after the interview. Do you like being treated that way?
If you were left waiting for an hour in the waiting room, if you were treated rudely by the receptionist, or if the interviewer was taking phone calls during your interview when he or she was supposed to be paying attention to you, you need to remember that you most likely will be treated in that same way on the job. Ask yourself the following questions:
• Do you like the general tone of the company?
• Do you feel respected?
• Do you feel you're being listened to?
• Are your questions and answers being taken seriously?
You might even think of it this way: You are hiring a new boss! Do you want to work for this person? Would you like to be around this person almost 40 hours a week? Would you like to be a part of this organization?
When you think about it, the power belongs not only to the interviewer but also to you! We will discuss more about the questions you need to ask yourself about accepting offers in Chapter 9.
You Passed the Test!
That's it! You've passed the audition! Congratulations! Now we're going to go for the rest of the play. The next chapters will give you all the tools you need to have a potent, masterful, and stress-free interview.